Common Reasons for Divorce: Insights from a Relationship Expert

Divorce is quite common in the U.S., but the reasons behind it can differ widely from one couple to another. A relationship expert has identified several common patterns that often lead to the breakdown of marriages.

Statistical Overview of Marital Breakdowns

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 22% of marriages face some form of "marital disruption" (which includes separation, divorce, or death) within the first five years. This figure rises to 53% after 20 years of marriage.

The Role of Relationship Dynamics

Esther Perel, a noted psychotherapist, and author, suggests that the key to a lasting marriage isn't the absence of problems but how couples handle them. She explains that both happy and unhappy couples encounter similar challenges. The difference lies in how they interact and support each other through these issues.

Importance of Mutual Support and Respect

Successful couples often show empathy and understanding toward each other, which helps them withstand various challenges. Conversely, relationships in which partners are combative or dismissive tend to deteriorate regardless of the circumstances.

Insights from a Dating Coach

As the founder of the Smart Dating Academy, I've observed that minor annoyances like household chores are seldom the root cause of divorce. Instead, a lack of commitment ranks as the top reason. A study in "Couple and Family Psychology" found that 75% of divorced individuals cited a lack of commitment as a significant factor.

Read next: Waiting to Date and Remarry After Divorce: When Is the Right Time?

Primary Drivers of Divorce

Infidelity: Cheating remains as the leading cause of divorce, exacerbated by today's digital age which facilitates both physical and emotional affairs.
Financial Struggles: While money itself isn't the direct cause, the stress and disagreements over financial management can test a marriage to the breaking point.
Addictions: Various addictions can prioritize themselves over the relationship, leading to significant marital strife.
Extraordinary Stress: Severe life events, like illness or the loss of a child, can test a marriage's strength.
Incompatibility: Major differences in lifestyle, values, or life goals can create insurmountable barriers.
Irreconcilable Differences: Sometimes, ongoing conflicts and unresolved issues can lead a couple to conclude that their differences are irreconcilable.

Who Initiates Divorce More Often?

A study reveals that in heterosexual marriages, females are more likely to initiate divorce than males, with 69% of divorces filed by women. This discrepancy may reflect differing perceptions of relationship quality.

Recognizing the Signs of a Potential Divorce


Experts from the Gottman Institute identify four key predictors of divorce: persistent toxic criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt. Addressing these issues through constructive communication can strengthen a marriage.

Consult with Us

Understanding and addressing these aspects can be crucial for couples facing challenges. For those seeking guidance or contemplating divorce, consulting with divorce lawyers like P. A. Davis Law Office, LLC can provide professional advice and support.

If you need further guidance or wish to schedule a consultation, don't hesitate to contact our office. We're committed to protecting your legal and financial interests during these challenging times.

Share by: